Trusting Myself

I know what you're thinking, so I'll tell you. Yes. That is my horrible doodle of me running. With all the complaints in the blogosphere about copyrights on photos, you're all just going to have to deal with my pathetic hand-drawn expressions of whatever I'm trying to convey for my posts from now on. I don't want anyone gettin' mad at me! {Although some of you may get mad at my talentless drawings.}

So last night, I decided to really push it. I went out for my evening run, determined to push myself to 5 miles. I'd been successful getting to the 4-mile mark, but I really wanted to get to 5 miles. I didn't get to it.

But.

I went faster than I ever have before.

My first mile was paced at 9:31. What?! When I heard the MapMyRun.com app announce the pace time into my ears, I couldn't believe it. I thought something was wrong. I knew I was going much, much faster than usual, but I didn't realize I had shaved off 2 minutes from my usual snail's pace. And I felt good. Nothing hurt. So that's when I decided to really push it. And I'm not kidding, for me, I pushed it. Hard.

My next mile was a little over 10 minutes, and by the time I hit the 3.1 mile mark, I realized I clocked in  at around 31:02. That means, the Coast Guard 5k might have actually been a much better time if I had just trusted myself that I could go faster. I was just so concerned with being able to run the hills on a hot morning, with the sun beating down on me, and I didn't want to walk any part of it. When the race results were posted and I saw my time was actually 36:45, I realized last night that it meant I cut almost 5 minutes off when I was pushing it. That also means I didn't trust myself on August 4th and I really could have pushed it much more that day. I realize I improved in my running over the past couple of weeks, but I do know I took a slow pace that day.

I was so excited, I cut through our neighborhood park (which added just an extra mile) and booked it home so I could blab to my husband about it. Like I mentioned, I intentionally took a very slow pace during the Coast Guard 5k, and there were several reasons why:

1. I had never raced before and I wasn't sure what to expect that day.
2. It was also super-hot that morning, and my running is typically at night, when it is much cooler.
3. The Coast Guard course also had some big hills and elevation in it, and normally I run locally in my subdivision which is all flat.

So, in that first 5k race, I purposely took a gentle pace because I just wanted to finish without ever having walked. That was my goal two weeks ago. But, I really did go much too slow for what I now realize I could accomplish. I didn't trust that I could do it, or that I could go faster.

One major difference last night, though, was that apart from the fact I know I've definitely been improving, I wore my new compression socks. I first wore them Friday night and liked them, but I wasn't able to gauge my comfort level and whether or not it helped because I was more concerned with the weather. It was pouring buckets of rain down and I just wanted to get a couple miles in without feeling like I was swimming. {I ended up feeling like that anyway; call me Michael Phelps. *not*}

But last night, I ran just as the sun was going down after a hard thunderstorm so it was much cooler. I wore the compression socks and didn't feel hungry or full or dehydrated. I was rested and relaxed and ready to get my sweat on. I kept thinking, "I should slow down." But then my next thought was, "Why? I feel really good right now."

And that's when I turned a corner, I think. If  my body isn't screaming because something is hurting, then I need to shut the doubting Debbie Downer side of me and just trust in myself.

I can do this. I can. So therefore? Just. keep. going.

I blog at Coffee and a Book Chick, and I participate in Joy's Book Blogs' weekly meme, "Readers' Workouts" and Live Through Books' "Running Roundup." To participate in either meme, add the below button(s) to your post and link up.